So I wasn't planning on blogging today but I figured whilst I was inspired (a.k.a angry) I should just run with it. I have just scanned through Twitter and found one tweet in particular which really struck a nerve. With reference to the recent show 'Extreme OCD Camp', a girl had written (to summarise) 'watching OCD camp makes me feel normal'. Not only did I find this incredibly upsetting but also frustrating. To be fair, the girl isn't entirely to blame, it's only based on what little knowledge she has of the condition and whose fault is that? Not hers.
The thing I have found most challenging throughout all of this, isn't necessarily the condition itself (I mean don't get me wrong, it's a sodding nightmare) but it's more other peoples responses which are the real struggle. When people meet me they more often than not see a confident, bubbly young woman. OCD isn't like a broken leg, you can't see it, it is often deep seated within the confines of ones mind. This is where the trouble starts. Especially when you are presented with an individual who appears 'normal' on the exterior. People cannot fathom this juxtaposition of human nature, 'but you seem so confident, how can you have a mental illness?'. This is a question I have had to face a multitude of times and to this day, still don't really know the answer. I have no idea why I am the way I am. I had a fairly standard, happy childhood, I have a loving and stable family, good friends. There has been no real trauma up until the last three of four years, so why did I develop this condition? Scientists still aren't exactly sure, it's a chemical cause but whether this is due to faulty genes or our experiences post womb, the answer is still unclear. Lord knows my Mum has plagued herself with guilt for years, blaming herself for the way I am, but at the end of the day, this is how I've developed and that's that.
I do wish though that some individuals would open up their mind a little. I am pretty upfront and frank when it comes to my illness, I have no qualms with regards to answering questions or discussing it, as long as the recipient is open minded. They may be the most 'normal' person in the world in their own isolated opinion, but I bet if you were to scratch the surface there would be some skeleton lurking, whether it be a penchant for peanut butter covered prunes or the need to reassure themself with a certain word or phrase in a moment of anxiety. We all have ticks and quirks, idiosyncrasies, whatever you wish to call them. So for this girl to compare herself to those featured on Extreme OCD Camp, all I can fathom is she must have some sort of 'abnormal' trait.
The point of this post really is that we need to ensure the right information about the condition is being projected out into society. OCD isn't something to be dismissed, ridiculed or ignored. Of course sufferers and their carers can have a little relief giggle if appropriate but I'm talking about society mocking the illness. A perfect example of my current OCD trait, contamination. The first question out of most peoples mouths is 'so you like things tidy or in order, right?' NO. One thing which isn't recognised is that OCD is EXTREMELY specific. Yes I am terrified of dog's mess but put me next to a great big steaming cow pat and I'd be laughing. I am not a tidy person by nature, my clothes are often strewn all over my bed with cushions and makeup everywhere. My focus is with this one particular issue.
All I can hope is that the television networks decide to produce more shows such as 'Extreme OCD Camp' as this opened up societies eyes to the various forms of the condition and its various victims. OCD doesn't care if you're supposedly 'normal' or not, it can nestle down in the most logical of minds.
Becca xoxo
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